Sometimes the best encouragement comes when you least expect it. Today we (my family) saw the Avengers for a second time, as a family. Honestly, call me crazy all you want, I was content it just staying home away from the whole thing. I had partied the night before and did not go to sleep until 3 am. And if you truly knew my family, you could understand why, being tired, I would not want to be around all of them at once. I normally am barraged by my siblings and made fun of all the time. My brother has this weird need to assert his dominance over me and my sister has this weird need to be argumentative. So you can see why there was a want to stay home and just rest. My anger comes out easier when I am tired, but today was different. I had this lighthearted feeling about everything, and I tried to focus on laughing at my siblings as the tried to get a rise out of me. Then once in the movie, I sat with two of my favorite people in the world, even though they can be so frustrating and annoying, my parents. It was a joy to sit next to my mom and have her nudge me with her elbow at the funny trailers and parts in the movie. It was also fun to look at my dad when my mom did all these things, we would giggle like idiots at times. Needless to say the whole tired thing, besides the heavy eyelids, did not affect me too much. After we left the theater we went to Sam’s Club to have a cheap meal and to go shopping, where my brother began to berate me and a dear friend of mine, because she is- in his mind- immature. That angered me, but I chose to just let it be. Until he began back talking to my parents. In which I stated he was the immature one and needed to grow up. He became angry at that and the challenge to piss me off was accepted. But the challenge to be lighthearted about everything else was accepted a long ass time ago. Okay I know too much plot, not enough meaning. Okay so as Jonathan was on his mission, my dad and I talked for a bit about getting a job and afterward I told him I would apply at Costco, to which he said too late, and I felt sad inside. I would love to get a large paycheck and to have it be a part of my life, money basically is something needed to thrive on; however, my dad gave me something else to thrive on when he uttered the words, I think you are going to Hume Lake this year. He gave me hope and encouragement. He doesn’t know how much the gift of those words meant to me. He gave me his approval in a sense, and that is something that as a young man I have striven for since I was 12, the acceptance of my father. Those words of encouragement which are far more valuable than a job and much more important to me than money.It encourages me to continue on in my journey.

Now I just simply have to wait. To let God work, and to be patient with what he is doing in my life. Giving up my life to God is hard, and has been this past month, but these words of encouragement are enough to remind me that my Heavenly and earthly father love me and are thinking about me. My dad wins as a parent today. My brother unfortunately failed his challenge, but seeks to succeed some day when I least expect it.

Also, I would like to say, the reason for me to post this is clearly to give those of you who read my posts a glimpse into my mind. Though my brother can be a royal jackass I still love him and pray for him, I am not intending to badmouth him. That is not what I do.

yelyahwilliams:

shil0h:

fun. | Call Me Maybe (cover)

I am in love with this.

When will fun. do anything that’s less than brilliant?

I love fun. period. end of story.

So recently I have been fearing a lot. My life has been run by my mind, I hear up there, “No you do not want to do that. You cannot do that, it is too far out of your comfort zone.” And me being stupid, I listen to these. So I psyche myself out. In all honesty, I do want to go to Joshua Wilderness Institute, but it scares me so badly.  For those of you who have not had an extensive talk with me about Joshua Wilderness Institute and therefore do not know what it is, let me fill you in. it is a 12 month discipleship/college program. I will be up at Hume Lake for a whole year. If accepted, which I hope to be, I will be without a phone or car for a year. In the program I am not allowed to watch any movies, yup no Hobbit or any awesome 2013 movie. Then there is another thing, I would not be allowed to watch any television. So yup I will not get to see Once Upon a Time season 2 or possibly the final season of How I Met Your Mother. Oh yeah this is so tough, well at least I will have music, right?!? Well… I… uh… would not get to listen to any music. Yup goodbye Gungor and all my other favorite music! For a whole year, most people look at me and say… “Good luck.” I do not know how to respond to that, do I say thanks? I just do not know at all.

Then there is the final part about relationships! So I cannot talk one on one with girls. There is this rule known as the the even rule. No I cannot even talk with two guys and two girls, the number always has to be odd. Which I think it is awesome! I would enjoy that a lot. The part that sucks about it is, if I get into a relationship before I go, I cannot further that relationship. So that means I cannot get engaged while I am up there. Another thing is I cannot get into a relationship while I am up there. WHAT?!?!? What if I fall deeply in love with someone up there, or what if I have already fallen in love with someone, but I do not feel like I should do anything right now. Which, I am in a waiting period. I am getting scared telling you all about it right now.

Basically I am afraid that if I wait any longer to hear, I may not want to go. To leave my family for a year. To leave my life for a year, but there is so much that I want to do, and living at Hume and attending the Joshua Institute, would help me accomplish. Ya I know it would be a great opportunity, but I also know that it could be an equally great opportunity too, if I do not go! Psalms 37:4 states, “Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” No matter what happens, my desires are to serve God and to be closer to Him. If that be in Joshua, which I hope it is, or if that be somewhere else, I know God will guide me. Proverbs 16:9 “A man plans his path, but the Lord guides his steps”

Thanks for reading, if you did. And if those who do read to the end could pray for me, I would appreciate it. it means a lot to have multiple people praying for your situations. Love all of you and God bless!

le-amour-du-voyage:

I know I cannot speak on behalf of God. Nor make assumptions for why He does the incredible things he does. But sometimes when I see places that are so deprived and yet so beautiful I wonder if the reason these underprivileged places are so gorgeous is so even without missionaries or without…